Comedy or Blasphemy

Did you know that there are some theories that suggest that Jesus was not an only child?

Jesus’ brothers are mentioned in several Bible verses. Matthew 12:46, Luke 8:19, and Mark 3:31 say that Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see Him. The Bible tells us that Jesus had four brothers: James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas (Matthew 13:55). The Bible also tells us that Jesus had sisters, but they are not named or numbered (Matthew 13:56). In John 7:1-10, His brothers "go on to the festival while Jesus stays behind". In Acts 1:14, His brothers and mother are described "as praying with the disciples". Galatians 1:19 mentions that "James was Jesus’ brother".

I'm not sure as to what the repercussions of this would be to the Christian faith but it clearly gives rise to the sort of sibling rivalry that might have existed if it was true.

Now I suspect that those of us with brothers or sisters know what I'm talking about when I refer to sibling rivalry. Yes, there's the morning that you get up for school and can't find a pair of socks or undies because someone else got to the drawer before you; or the familiar look across the table to see that your younger brother has 5 roast potatoes on his plate, whilst you've only got four; or the almighty scrap that can take place upon discovery that your favourite toy has gone missing and may well be broken.

So with that in mind how did the young Jesus cope?
Would he simply go barefoot if his brother had taken his sandals that morning, or would he just carry out a miracle to ensure that his glass of milk was at the same level as his his sister's.

How did he react when his younger brother snitched on him for wandering off to the wilderness to live on bread and honey for 28 days without letting his parents know? Would it have been like me with a sly kick to the ribs as he walked passed him en route to the bedroom having been grounded?

Then there's the stalking issues. Whilst recruiting his disciples did Jesus and Peter and the rest of them have to run up some dark alleyway and hide in a dark stable to shake off a younger sibling intent on following them wherever they went?
Or did they have to club together and hand over a few shekels to persuade him to go and play with someone his own age.

There clearly would have been jealousy at Christmas, because Jesus got twice as many presents as everybody else, having a birthday the same day.
Given all of these potential problems it's amazing that he ever got round to preaching salvation and love.
Then there's Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse Syndrome, where the surviving siblings try to cash in on the death of their more famous relative.
Guided tours of the family home, media interviews, books and anecdotal presentations.
Imagine it; a Night With Judas Christ: Jesus' Younger Brother....

"...I remember one day our Jesus telling me that he was the son of God. 'Well if that's the case, then so am I', I told him. 'No you're not', he replied, 'there's only one son of God and that's me and I'm here to save mankind'.
'Well I am the son of God' I re-iterated 'and I'm going to take over the family business of answering people's prayers and running the world.'
'Don't be stupid', he said 'you can't even change water into wine yet. You'll never be able to run the world.'
Well here I am 20 years down the line with my own carpentry shop and wife and 3 kids, so I suppose that he was right. I never got round to running the world and despite trying to predict the lottery numbers for thousands of people I'm yet to succeed.That's what I always admired about our Jesus, he was infallible."

It's a shame that we didn't have a Kennedy or Bush type dynasty, with Jesus' siblings trying to carry on where he left off.

Oh well I supposed I've milked that one to death and perhaps caused a little bit of controversy. Hopefully I'll get a few death threats from right wing bible bashers if they ever get round to reading my blog.

Take it easy my friends, may the Lord be with you



  

Ten Pints of Guinness and a Crate of Red Rum

Here we go again...the culmination of the week that Liverpool swims in San Tropez false tan.
It's the Grand National Festival.
It's brilliant; thousands of orange women wearing their specially acquired frock and 'at, men walking around with bad suits and trilbies in the vain hope that everyone thinks they are  top racing pundits and 'hungry' taxi drivers circling like vultures waiting to fleece the next out of town drunk.
Oh and then there's the night life, dominated as ever by the elite few who continue to wear their racecourse pass throughout the night and order Pimms and lemonade as temperatures outside plummet to 0 degrees.
It's no wonder that this event takes place in Liverpool, no other city in the country would tolerate some of the antics that take place, or moreover, the publicity that it attracts. Even the racecourse owners have now banned 'unsavoury' photos which lend themselves to the sort of publicity that has dominated the event as of recent years.
Below I've posted (and commented) on some of them.
 
"I've lost my betting slip, can I just check to see if it's up your arse?"

"Make sure you check for broken glass before getting too intimate"

"...and Black Thong makes her way into the winner's enclosure, passed some amused punters.."

Now for those of you in the know, you'll realise that these photos are all historical from previous years. The reason is because if any dodgy photos are  published this year, then the photographer responsible will have his permit for this year and any future years, withdrawn. So much for free speech at Aintree.
My problem is that we don't see the same sort of publicity for Ascot, or the Derby at Epsom, or any of the other middle class piss-ups, which has to include Henley Regatta and the ultimate in all social occasions, the Tory Party Conference. These things do happen there you know.
Yes, even I can be critical of what goes on at Aintree this week and the reality is that the working class at play (particularly in Liverpool) sells newspapers. It's as Owen Jones quite rightly points out "Chav culture"; the demonisation of the working classes. From Benidorm to Bulgaria, young British kids have been labelled with this Chav tag. But we all know that it goes on in other cultures.
I've seen naked students doing press ups on the banks of the canals of Amsterdam; part of Freshers Week traditiion I was told. And we've all seen that Americans can party with the best of them.
So why do we like to highlight this as part of British culture when the truth is that it's part of all youth cultures? Likewise why single out the Grand National festival in Liverpool when we know that Glorious Goodwood and the other Southern middle class events are as bad (if not worse).

My take on it well it's simple.
The establishment owes nothing to Liverpool, history tells us that; the only mainland city to return an Irish republican MP to Parliament, the only city to experience a Police Strike, the city that disobeyed Thatcher and resulted in the disqualification of its Councillors and of course Hillsborough. For anyone in the States that hasn't heard of Hillsborough, just Google it to see how the British establishment closes ranks on the working classes. 
So anything that could present this city in a decent light has to be put back in its place and that includes The Grand National. Bookies love it, punters adore it and even the locals can make a few quid on the back of it. But, no, the press have to mock and denigrate it because that's what their owners want.
So to all those people out there who follow the press line and "diss" the National I say, "Get your tan on, order a pint of Guinness and back the horse with the most letters in its name."

Come on AP McCoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!